you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
