You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
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I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize