I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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