maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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