Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
how does that bad decision feel?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
