Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
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