wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
