Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
