Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Who did Billy Mays play for?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Randomize
