I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
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He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
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You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize