Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
