he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
