And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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