My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
