We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
