honey bunches of taint.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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