Whoa Z and x make the same sound
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Randomize
