We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize