so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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