I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
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I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
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I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
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