Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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