I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize