people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
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just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
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I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize