I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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