physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
