I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Be still, my beating vagina.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
