I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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