We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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