Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
