I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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