Porn is love you can see.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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