I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
