none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
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