why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
All I want is dick and wine.
Your penis caused this!
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
