Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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