Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
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