is wine microwaveable?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
