Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
