Texts From Last Night

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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Heybabeimwearingurpanties

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  (919): Heybabeimwearingurpanties http://tfl.nu/vfaz
  Replies (15) Good night (1026) Bad night (1859)
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  (858): View more from California

  I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.

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  (858): I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell. http://tfl.nu/6q5z
  Replies (6) Good night (750) Bad night (2011)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I'm that good.

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  (720): Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time. (970): I'm that good. http://tfl.nu/qp5j
  Replies (5) Good night (4301) Bad night (664)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x

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  (305): I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x http://tfl.nu/g18f
  Replies (110) Good night (1405) Bad night (4864)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...

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  (502): you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty... http://tfl.nu/96t1
  Replies (4) Good night (691) Bad night (3623)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  that would be two times in a week with two different guys.

  (913): View more from Kansas

  they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?

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  (816): that would be two times in a week with two different guys. (913): they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right? http://tfl.nu/b8ql
  Replies (21) Good night (4256) Bad night (1264)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor

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  (443): i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor http://tfl.nu/enmw
  Replies (4) Good night (2462) Bad night (1330)
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  (562): View more from California

  I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.

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  (562): I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical. http://tfl.nu/qbx3
  Replies (10) Good night (3617) Bad night (955)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?

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  (859): I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!? http://tfl.nu/cr9e
  Replies (6) Good night (691) Bad night (1493)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.

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  (270): No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife. http://tfl.nu/ovxt
  Replies (4) Good night (1972) Bad night (993)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages

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  (901): its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages http://tfl.nu/zo01
  Replies (9) Good night (788) Bad night (1311)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.

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  (+44): When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits. http://tfl.nu/jw7g
  Replies (3) Good night (500) Bad night (1279)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous

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  (515): Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous http://tfl.nu/c0i4
  Replies (1) Good night (846) Bad night (357)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.

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  (306): We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned. http://tfl.nu/jttg
  Replies (1) Good night (638) Bad night (399)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs

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  (760): Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs http://tfl.nu/ndm8
  Replies (3) Good night (807) Bad night (406)

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