Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(519): View more from Ontario

Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.

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(519): Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone. http://tfl.nu/1akv

Replies (12) Good night (1415) Bad night (613)
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(253): View more from Washington

i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money

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(253): i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money http://tfl.nu/2wwu

Replies (3) Good night (1065) Bad night (685)
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(858): View more from California

i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..

(720): View more from Colorado

yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures

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(858): i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume.. (720): yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures http://tfl.nu/ebwm

Replies (7) Good night (3117) Bad night (688)
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(816): View more from Missouri

I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.

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(816): I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book. http://tfl.nu/rwum

Replies (44) Good night (935) Bad night (10554)
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(410): View more from Maryland

this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.

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(410): this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it. http://tfl.nu/bnad

Replies (25) Good night (4450) Bad night (894)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on

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(610): you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on http://tfl.nu/unra

Replies (20) Good night (6398) Bad night (1233)
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(519): View more from Ontario

I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"

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(519): I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position" http://tfl.nu/0g0v

Replies (8) Good night (4564) Bad night (1090)
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(614): View more from Ohio

There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.

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(614): There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out. http://tfl.nu/1cqt

Replies (6) Good night (2483) Bad night (1680)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.

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(832): He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex. http://tfl.nu/fne7

Replies (11) Good night (2253) Bad night (963)
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(352): View more from Florida

As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back

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(352): As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back http://tfl.nu/26q8

Replies (6) Good night (1557) Bad night (688)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."

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(570): Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could." http://tfl.nu/hbr4

Replies (2) Good night (627) Bad night (906)
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(937): View more from Ohio

Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach

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(937): Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach http://tfl.nu/g4uo

Replies (7) Good night (822) Bad night (349)
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(831): View more from California

Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"

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(831): Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over" http://tfl.nu/jc5k

Replies (1) Good night (812) Bad night (362)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.

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(+44): Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding. http://tfl.nu/brfz

Replies (2) Good night (652) Bad night (342)
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(619): View more from California

She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.

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(619): She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had. http://tfl.nu/ze7k

Replies (1) Good night (428) Bad night (181)

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