He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
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