gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
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