Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Randomize
