I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.