Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I understand Curling. That high.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
