I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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