my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
