3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
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