I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize