Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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