I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize