Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Four minutes until I can fart!
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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