somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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