Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
