No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
