By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
