i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
