So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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