how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
