So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Also, beer. Big fan.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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