i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
