Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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