woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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