I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize