its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize